Looking Back....And Looking Forward

134 days ago we started a journey that seemed far, far in the distance. I have had a habit in my life of starting "journeys" like a ball of fire and then slowly fizzling out like a 4th of July sparkler. Much heat and excitement inevitably gave way to cold, dead ashes.

Today, on the eve of leaving for Canton, I have tried to identify what was different about this journey? There are several things that have sustained me for these past 4+ months. I record them here so I will never forget that good intentions and a quick blaze cannot sustain for the long haul. These have been the difference in sustaining me on this journey:

1. The prayers and regular contact with brothers also in the battle. There were several times during this journey that the enemy had me on my back. I was tired, and struggling with those depressing whispers that, "Nothing has changed, you are just as weak and hopeless as you ever were...you will fail again, just like every other time you decided to step out in faith." As the whispers got louder and more consistent, invariably, something would happen. One of my brothers in this Union would phone me, or, a new message would be posted to this blog and suddenly the fire sprang back to life and the flames pushed the Whisperer back into the shadows. Thank you men for being "the difference" between success and failure. I know it was the Holy Spirit who saw my plight and had compassion on my weakness. "A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:7

2. This quest was born out of a deep frustration and dissatisfaction with my own Christian walk and the Christianity that I see around me every day. In May I was as frustrated as I ever have been and I felt ready to do something drastic....something life-changing. I told my wife that if this North American Christianity is all there is, I don't want to be called a Christian. How can we calmly go through our days living out such a lie? Does it not occur to anyone else that our lives are radically different than the abundant life promised by our Savior? If we aren't dead, we must at least admit we are on life-support. What is the answer to this spiritual sickness in our souls?

At a critical crossroads, I did what I usually do when I'm ready to be honest. I called a trusted long-time brother and surprisingly, he was feeling exactly the same way. This brother and I have a long history of "dreaming". We dream of getting off the bench and into the real game of life and death, where men's soul's hang in the balance. We dream of following in the footsteps of our Savior who lived such a radical love. We dream of following the faithful witness of troublemakers like C.T. Studd, Rees Howell, etc.

Out of that one phone call, the CPU was formed. It was born out of frustration, but men, we are in good company. Examine the following quote:

"I want the presence of God Himself, or I don't want anything at all to do with religion...I want all that God has or I don't want any." A.W.Tozer

I believe this has sustained us as we have prayed and fasted and dreamed of what would happen if God were to really invade our lives. At some point we must decide, "Is the North American Christian experience enough for me? Am I content to go to my grave with this pitiful, powerless faith that keeps me going through the motions?" Am I willing to admit that I am regrettably warming a pew in the lukewarm church of Revelation 3?" For 134 days we have shouted "NO!" and now we embark on the first leg of our journey.

I am anxious to finally sit down with each of you and seek the face of God. Let us cry out for revival in our own hearts and be ready to share what God reveals to each one of us.

SEE YOU IN CANTON!!!

Your brother, Steve